Gene Perret's speaks (er... writes)

2009-02-03T15:50:00.000-08:00

Here's an article from legendary comedy writer, Gene Perret. Everything I know about comedy, I learned from his book. But don't hold that against him.

Laughing at you,
Kareem

This Joke Just Came to Me

2009-02-01T11:51:00.000-08:00

Weird, nappy hair. But I was on the subway the other day and saw a guy with hair that looked exactly like mines. I asked him if he was going to a one day writer's workshop like I was. He asked me if I have any spare change.

Laughing at you,
Kareem

Random Caption

2009-01-22T17:56:00.000-08:00

He told me himself... half pig.

Laughing at you,
Kareem

Monologue #1- The 2008 Election

2008-12-08T06:59:00.000-08:00

History can be a strange thing. Civil wars, financial crises, and a large group of people threatening to secede from the union. And that was just the election.
The Democratic Party has had a very interesting primary. We had a black candidate, a Hispanic, and a female candidate. People were excited but then let down when the candidates refused to walk into a bar together.
Because of the historic nature of this election, the GOP decided to tone down their race baiting; they started spelling nigger “a-r-a-b”. It's nice that after centuries of racial conflict, people both white and black can get together and be bigoted toward Muslims. Not that I’m mad about the rumors that Obama is some secret Manchurian candidate Muslim who will destroy America piece by piece; we finally have an explanation for the Bush presidency.
Speaking of Bush: after eight years, Democrats were anxious to get back to the Clinton era; this was great news to Hillary, bad news to the wife of every other candidate. Bill finally let Hillary know they have an open relationship.
Surprisingly, Bill Richardson supported Barack Obama in the primaries despite being a close friend to the Clinton family. His courage inspired John Edwards and Al Gore, I’m just confused as to why they waited till November 5th.
Some Hillary supporters claimed they would vote for McCain if Obama won the nomination. They maintain that it had nothing to do with race stating that they would have voted for a person of any color that went against everything they believed in.
You have to give Hillary credit; she doesn't give up easy. She may have lost this year's election, but she plans to run again as early as next February.
Many democratic voters think sexism played a part in Hillary's loss. Many more forgot that Hillary was a woman and say they didn’t think about Sex at all when they saw her.
If anything is clear, it’s that the Clintons can adapt. Bill Clinton was referred to as the “first black president”. In this election, Hilary presented herself as blue collar. If what we've been told about 2028 is true, Chelsey will be running office as the first Hispanic President.
Hillary stated that Martin Luther King might have inspired a nation, but it was Lyndon Johnson who made the aspirations of the civil rights moment law. Black voters wondered why Hillary would downplay Dr. King’s accomplishments. White voters wondered if she knew she wasn’t president yet. In any case, Bob Johnson worked hard smooth everything over. By the end of it, his tap-dancing shoes were worn out.
Still, the Clintons are really confused as to why they lost the black vote. Bill has always connected with African Americans, and spent half of the primaries in black face to deepen that connection.
Race was definitely a factor this election. I met a man who was ninety years old and voting for the first time. He said he never imagined this country would be that close to electing an African American. So he's voting McCain in hopes that it never happens again.
Speaking of race, controversy arose when video of Obama's former pastor surfaced. It featured said pastor going on a racial rant. When reached for comment, McCain supporter Pat Robertson asked: Who taught that negro to read?
Many white ultraconservatives have expressed fear that a black president will somehow make white citizens second class citizens. Meanwhile, many black democrats, republicans, and libertarians have expressed fear that white people are unable to see irony.
Although many accused the GOP of race baiting this election, Sarah Palin was quick to set them straight by saying "you can see BET from Alaska".
Palin was an interesting choice for McCain, she complimented him in every way. She was far right where he was moderate, young where he was old. After people heard her speak they said, "I never knew McCain was that smart."
Some republicans were upset because they felt Palin wasn't vetted enough. They became suspicious when she kept asking about the swim suit competition.
Palin's camp has claimed that the ABC video of her claiming she has diplomatic expertise because "you can see Russia from Alaska" was doctored to make her look stupid. Not once did they mention the great view of Canada.
Many claim Obama is the obvious choice because of his education. Columbia and Harvard may be fine, but Palin spent six years at five different colleges before receiving her degree. They may not have been Ivy League, but they had to be exclusive because no one has even heard of them before.
To rally her base, Palin went out of her way to separate the "pro”, or “real American" towns from the rest of the nation. The real America is the one her husband wants Alaska to secede from.
Many people have noted that McCain had become a little more conservative than they remembered. Although he insists he's the same, I'm positive vowing to destroy Lincoln is new to him. McCain may have said that we shouldn't cater to Jerry Fallwell on the right or Al Sharpton on the left. But he never said anything about General Lee.
McCain has been reaching out to the religious right for a few years and has feed off their enthusiasm. That enthusiasm was the excuse he gave for the burning crosses at his rallies.
The third presidential debate showed the differences between Obama and McCain. Obama spoke eloquently and expressed the need for change. McCain cried, kick, and needed to be changed twice.
He gave a great concession speech. He was eloquent, inspiring and respectable. I couldn't help but think; maybe the GOP should nominate that guy for president some day.
Obama was the clear superstar of this election since the Iowa primaries. But his mother knew he was special the day she gave birth to him in that manger.
Some criticized Obama for creating a cult of personality: an act that's inappropriate for a politician but great for an Israeli carpenter.
Obama's charisma has cast a spell on supporters, making him appear to be a messianic figure. Luckily, the spell can be removed by a grilled cheese sandwich with Obama's face on it.
Many black pundits and commentators have questioned Obama's blackness. But Obama has assured them, he plans to leave Michelle for a white woman right after his inauguration.
There is a noticeable difference Obama and the last democratic hopeful, John Kerry. For example, at the end of Obama's speeches, people were still awake.
Some have pointed out similarities between Obama and the 24 character David Palmer. One difference is that it'll probably take less than five years for Obama to get shot in the throat.

Laughing at you,
Kareem

'Sup!

2008-11-08T05:55:00.000-08:00

This is my second blog, dealing mostly with my comedic work. Like my screenwriting thread, this will be journal of my attempts to "break in".
I actually don't want to be a stand up comic, but rather a comedic writer. I want to write routines and maybe even get a job writing for a sketch show, or even doing a late night talk show. I guess it's weird to hear someone talk about being behind the camera, but behind the camera is where all the power is.
Naturally, I'll have to do some stand up, if only to show off my material. That would be fine if it wasn't for my social anxiety problem. Guess I'll fall off that bridge when I come to it. This may even help my screenwriting career, which is mostly in my head for the moment.

Laughing at you,
Kareem

Negro Laughter

Gene Perret's speaks (er... writes)

This Joke Just Came to Me

Random Caption

Monologue #1- The 2008 Election

'Sup!